Hope

On October 19th, we entered the waiting list at number 85.  I am happy to report that in the last few months, over 10 families have had the happy moment of getting that referral.  Unfortunately, I don't think there has been a referral of a sibling group all year long.  Also throughout the year the process has seemed to get longer and had more than a few setbacks.  When we were placed on the list they told us they couldn't give us an exact timeline but because we are wanting siblings (for multiple reasons) they would guess that our timeline until referral is likely 2 years.  So 24-2 months= 22 more months.

Somehow doing paperwork and waiting for the government to do paperwork and answering questions about my life all seemed like doing something and made the whole thing "real".  Right now I kind of feel like it isn't "real" anymore.  In 22 mos, who knows what will have happened, how I will have changed, what I will be feeling.... who knows how life will have changed in 22 mos.  And in 22 mos (if it works out that 22 is all we have to wait) I won't be holding my precious children in my arms but will instead just be finding out their names and faces.  It's bothersome to me because it seems like so many things have to wait for the babies and I want the babies so bad and all these people around me are getting pregnant and their babies will be here long before mine.  So a little bit of a pity party for Rachael (and for all the other "mothers" in the world just waiting to get the chance).

But... it is advent.  One part of my job that I loved was last Friday, we had a birthday party for Jesus.  We did have just a bit of work in the morning and then we worked our way through the advent.  We talked about how advent is a celebration of the "waiting", the waiting for the first Christmas and the waiting for the Second Coming.  Can I just tell you that if I were to celebrate something, it wouldn't be waiting.  I love celebrating but I don't love waiting.  But alas I think that some of God's greatest lessons come to us during times of waiting.

And I keep thinking about the Israelites who had to wait 400 years for their Messiah and then people missed it.  I've been checking out new churches (just time for a change) and think I've found the one I want and last week our sermon was on Simeon's song.  Simeon had a promise from God that he would see the Messiah and when he did he worshipped him and sang a song.  Simeon kept that hope, that faith that God would give him the desire of his heart and it came.  There is no age given but I get the impression that Simeon was not a young guy.  He probably had to wait longer than that 22 mos.  but he knew that God would keep his promise to Israel and to him personally.  The pastor said on Sunday that if you think about it that the story of Simeon is sad because Simeon wasn't the only on in the temple that day, the temple was packed with people with their own agendas who in the back of their minds were "waiting for the Messiah" but they missed him.  I want to make sure that I am not missing the point in this waiting and that I am prepared and not so stuck in my own pity party that I lose out on what God has for me during this waiting.  I know that my trust, my hope, my faith is in the Lord and he will deliver me from this time, from these worries, from the uncertainties that can cause me to waver.

I found great comfort in the blogpost at the bottom check it out.  Merry Christmas!

John 14:18 No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you


http://www.incourage.me/2011/12/because-what-were-really-getting-ready-for-is-love.html