Beginning

I saw this idea on Pinterest to use these as motivators on a weight loss journey.  Each rock represents a pound that you need to lose.  When it's gone, the rock gets to move to the lost vase.  I like that my "to go" vase is short and fat but my "lost" vase is tall and skinny.  It's the goal :) I made them then almost took them to my master bath but decided instead to leave them on the kitchen counter to help motivate me not to have that extra food I don't need in the kitchen.  So far I've been losing pretty consistently which is great.  I ran my second 5k last month.  Didn't run as much as I had during the first one but two of my brothers and one of my sisters ran it with me.  And when I wanted to give up near the end my brother came back and finished it with me so I could finish strong!  I love the feeling of accomplishment I get when I finish so I need to get back into training so that I can do another one. Since then I haven't done as well on getting my exercise in but have done really well on eating appropriately.  I have gained and lost weight several times in the years since high school and even won a weight loss competition a couple years ago with Josh and some siblings.  But I haven't been consistent and I don't want to continue the unhealthy cycle.  Right now Josh is once again in a competition but I chose to not join because I need to make it just a part of my life.  Eating healthy foods and exercising regularly need to be just something I do and not something I do because if I do I can gain money.  More than money I need to be in good health, happy, not spending money on unhealthy things (it adds up) and able to be the best mama I can be when God finally grants me that desire of my heart.  So I guess I also need to have some accountability and that's why I'm writing this.  I also need some accountability to writing on this blog so I'm going to try to do them both.  No promises.

In other news last week marked 1 year of officially being on the list.  We started at 85 and after a year...Hopefully referrals pick up and we move many more than 25 in the next year.  I so cannot wait to see their precious faces.


1 Peter 1:13 So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world.

African

So we continue waiting.  And with the recent updates from CHI and the continuing lack of referrals in 2012, it seems that we will be waiting a long time more for our children to find us.  Last weekend our town had its annual "Ethnic Expo" and we were able to go on Saturday.  It reminded me of a regular "market" that we might encounter on our travels because mostly it was shops of things to buy from different countries and food prepared by people from different countries.  There were no Ethiopian shops or food but there were a couple from Ghana.  We saw these cool djembes at one of the shops.  The one we really liked had a lion carved into the base.  We talked to the guy and then walked around more.  The other Ghana shop had some pretty cool carvings and paintings that we were interested in but we just looked around and didn't buy anything.  Then we had dinner. I had jollof rice and chicken stew from the Ghana tent and Josh had some meat from the Brazilian tent.  We saw a couple of different dancers and listened to some music.  It was an enjoyable experience.  Then we went back to the original Ghana shop and got ourselves a little piece of African decor.  The lion one was gone so we got this one with a gazelle on one side and a tree on the other.  Waiting is difficult but getting new things like this excites me.  During this time I am trying to depend more on God because without Him the wait would be impossible.   I looked for a verse with drums and found this: 1 Samuel 10:5-6
“Next, you’ll come to Gibeah of God, where there’s a Philistine garrison. As you approach the town, you’ll run into a bunch of prophets coming down from the shrine, playing harps and tambourines, flutes and drums. And they’ll be prophesying. Before you know it, the Spirit of GOD will come on you and you’ll be prophesying right along with them. And you’ll be transformed. You’ll be a new person!

I pray that God uses this time of waiting to transform me. To make me the person that my children will need. God is in control and today I am depending on Him for endurance during this wait.

Ups and Downs

So the endless period of no referrals finally ended in June which was a very good think.  I think as of today we are either 67 or 66 on the waiting list so that's awesome.  I've been able to think about some great "ups" that this extended wait has given us.

 We hated the house we were living in so we contacted a realtor about selling it.  He pretty much dashed all expectations of selling it and even getting what we owed on it :(  But we did have a neighbor who owned land adjacent to ours but was having difficulty getting the government to approve him putting in a house.  We contacted him just to see if he was interested.  He was very interested!  He said I have to sell my current house but then I want yours.... so we were back in the waiting game.  Then he called us this Spring saying I need the house ASAP.  So Josh and I moved out and in with my parents

(picture from my sister's photography business: http://www.klassicelegancephotography.com/)

We went from a house to one room but other than lack of space it's been great and it gave us time to search out our dream home:

It is definitely a place that we can't wait to bring our babies home to!  Unfortunately, we won't get to move in until next week but I am so very thankful to God that we sold our old house, had my parents to depend upon during the transition, and were able to find and purchase our dream home.  I know that if God had made our wait time shorter that this dream wouldn't have been a reality so I am choosing to concentrate on the blessings that I have each day.

I finished my first year of teaching.  It was a long year and also a very short one.  I learned a lot from my fellow teachers and from my administrator.  This is also a blessing.  

This summer I have taught 2 different summer schools and the large age differences has also helped me to grow as a teacher.  I won't continue summer school once the kiddos get here so growing as a teacher and gaining experience is a blessing (although an actual break would be a blessing too)

We also have in this time of waiting joined a new church.  Which has led me to join a Women's Bible Study. Which has led me to be better committed to my quiet time.  Which is such a blessing.  Thank you God for the blessings during my wait.

Isaiah 30:18
So the LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. 

Mother's Day

I always thought I was a writer.  I enjoy writing but haven't put enough time into this blog.  One reason I think is because I made the blog to blog about adoption and well there isn't much news on that front.  Since October (when we officially made the waiting list) we've moved about 10 spots (from 85 to what I guess is 73 but I haven't checked officially).  That in itself isn't overly optimistic.  If you then break it down further to the fact that in 2012 our agency has had 1 referral (it was of siblings so that's something) then it feels much more bleak given that it's nearly halfway through May.  Also that Mother's Day is this weekend just puts me in a bad mood.  If I had a big old baby belly people would treat me like a mother but since I am only paper pregnant, it won't be so. People do care and ask about the adoption but I don't have any answers and thinking about it too much makes me so depressed because... it may be a year, it may be 2 it may even be 5 and that's a lot to swallow.  I know God has called me to adopt.  That there is a reason my heart breaks for the children without families.  That there is a reason for this time of WAITING with no end insight.  I know that.  But I have to remind myself every day.


Romans 8:23 And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.

New Years Resolution....

So I read this cool blog post at the very beginning of the year:  On Friendship http://www.incourage.me/2011/12/on-friendship.html

And I felt like it had been written just for me.  Once again January has brought a new health kick (but I am feeling more even-keeled this time so maybe it will stick) but even though I struggle with "lack of friends" I hadn't thought about making it a resolution.  I definitely pray for it and it is one of the reasons that I started my search for a new church.  Hopefully one of the things I will find in my new congregation is a way to make new lasting friendships.  I hate making small talk.  It's actually gotten me in some real trouble at the job (apparently parents want bubbly teachers... and I try but I'm just not).  But I'm going to follow this blog series ( is that what you call it when she does a couple on the same topic) and think about the ways I can make more friends in 2012.

Luke 16:9  Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home.

Hope

On October 19th, we entered the waiting list at number 85.  I am happy to report that in the last few months, over 10 families have had the happy moment of getting that referral.  Unfortunately, I don't think there has been a referral of a sibling group all year long.  Also throughout the year the process has seemed to get longer and had more than a few setbacks.  When we were placed on the list they told us they couldn't give us an exact timeline but because we are wanting siblings (for multiple reasons) they would guess that our timeline until referral is likely 2 years.  So 24-2 months= 22 more months.

Somehow doing paperwork and waiting for the government to do paperwork and answering questions about my life all seemed like doing something and made the whole thing "real".  Right now I kind of feel like it isn't "real" anymore.  In 22 mos, who knows what will have happened, how I will have changed, what I will be feeling.... who knows how life will have changed in 22 mos.  And in 22 mos (if it works out that 22 is all we have to wait) I won't be holding my precious children in my arms but will instead just be finding out their names and faces.  It's bothersome to me because it seems like so many things have to wait for the babies and I want the babies so bad and all these people around me are getting pregnant and their babies will be here long before mine.  So a little bit of a pity party for Rachael (and for all the other "mothers" in the world just waiting to get the chance).

But... it is advent.  One part of my job that I loved was last Friday, we had a birthday party for Jesus.  We did have just a bit of work in the morning and then we worked our way through the advent.  We talked about how advent is a celebration of the "waiting", the waiting for the first Christmas and the waiting for the Second Coming.  Can I just tell you that if I were to celebrate something, it wouldn't be waiting.  I love celebrating but I don't love waiting.  But alas I think that some of God's greatest lessons come to us during times of waiting.

And I keep thinking about the Israelites who had to wait 400 years for their Messiah and then people missed it.  I've been checking out new churches (just time for a change) and think I've found the one I want and last week our sermon was on Simeon's song.  Simeon had a promise from God that he would see the Messiah and when he did he worshipped him and sang a song.  Simeon kept that hope, that faith that God would give him the desire of his heart and it came.  There is no age given but I get the impression that Simeon was not a young guy.  He probably had to wait longer than that 22 mos.  but he knew that God would keep his promise to Israel and to him personally.  The pastor said on Sunday that if you think about it that the story of Simeon is sad because Simeon wasn't the only on in the temple that day, the temple was packed with people with their own agendas who in the back of their minds were "waiting for the Messiah" but they missed him.  I want to make sure that I am not missing the point in this waiting and that I am prepared and not so stuck in my own pity party that I lose out on what God has for me during this waiting.  I know that my trust, my hope, my faith is in the Lord and he will deliver me from this time, from these worries, from the uncertainties that can cause me to waver.

I found great comfort in the blogpost at the bottom check it out.  Merry Christmas!

John 14:18 No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you


http://www.incourage.me/2011/12/because-what-were-really-getting-ready-for-is-love.html

Officially Waiting :D

So... the birth certificate, marriage license, and not-right-notary were not the end of our troubles.  We go to mail our stuff only to have our consultant leave the country but they assured us that if we sent it they would take care of it.  So we sent it and they found out our police report was too old (this gathering paperwork has taken a long time.  2 full-time jobs one of which is on an off-shift has really messed this stuff up).

So then I go to the local police to see if I can just get both of our letters but nope they won't let me get Josh's.  They say just leave your info and your husband can come tomorrow and get it done.  Then Josh worked over so he didn't make it that day but he did the next and so I thought we'd mail it back off that night.  I go to get the paperwork and mines not there they told him he couldn't have it.  So another day went by before I got back over to the police station to get that straightened out and once again in the mail.

Woohoo everything was there but there was still one more step before "paper pregnancy" was really here.  I wonder how long this last step takes so I ask and my consultant says probably within the next week or two.  That same day I get an email that we are on the list! On the list! Officially paper pregnant!! Woohoo! So then I have to know, what number on the list are we? 85... So I can't wait for those 84 other families to be complete so that we can too.

Since we are waiting for siblings we have a pretty big wait ahead of us.  An elephant has a gestation time of 22 months.  So the bet is on, who will win an elephant who got pregnant last week or me and Josh?  Any takers?

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.